Half Full vs Half Empty

• Your tummy being half full is good when you’re short on cash and long on hunger. Being half empty is good at an all you can eat buffet when denying your fullness will lead to ravaging through the dessert table’s glistening chocolate cake and 7-layer caramel brownie a la mode faster than you can say Tasmanian devil.
• A theater being half empty is good when you want your pick of a seat. Now think about viewing this scarce resource as half full. A slight panic sets in as the ideal seating arrangements in the ideal location become more and more scarce. The same theater being half full is good when you’re in charge of tickets and it’s in your best interest to fill that baby up.
• The swimming pool is half empty indicates a sort of warning to the diver about to land head first. Think about hearing a pool is half full. That might seem like just enough water when in reality danger lies ahead.

As I wrote, the Bloody Mary glass (a flight attendant gifted me to help me forget being transferred to a flight with 2 stops and checking my luggage) was one-third full.

Challenge yourself: The next time you use the phrases half empty or half full think about if there’s any positive or negative connotation, or possible consequences for using either phrase. (Here’s a piece Jane Brody at the New York Times wrote on glass half full thinking.)

The goat is half empty. The jug is half full.

To keep the possibilities wide open I buy a one-way ticket to Florida.

First, what other travel can I combine with this trip?

I fervently am hoping to volunteer at a conference in New York but decide, regardless, to go to New York after Florida. (I later find I am going to the 99U Conference for “insights on making ideas happen” about which I am highly stoked!)

First hurdle: I book the wrong ticket, arriving a day early.

I don’t want to blame my coffee addiction and lack thereof the morning I booked the ticket, but the  12:30am departure had me thinking I’d arrive the NEXT day, not realizing the flight actually departs the “next” day.

Decision: Get pissed or get creative.

Such a low fare is not available the next day, so I decide to go with the flow and turn the flub into a chance to explore.   A quick search reveals several coffee roasters which indicates, to me, at least one source of attraction. My friend had suggested picking me up and dropping me off at the airport after the visit. While leaving a car rental fallow while we use her car is a waste, renting a car will give me freedom and flexibility.

Something good: I’ve been wanting to test drive a Ford Focus, and that’s one of the dirt cheap cars available for rent.

Searching for answers reveals entirely new possibilities: ROADTRIP!

I start to fantasize about driving in the rental car to New York…then make a major find.

Apparently many cars migrate south to Florida and somehow, at some point, need to migrate back to other destinations. At insanely cheap rates you can take a one-way car rental from Florida to other destinations. I mean like at the moment Hertz is as low as $20 per day. Usually you get socked with huge fees on one-way rentals. You’re doing the car rental companies a favor. (Maybe one day, they will pay us to drive, ha.)

Decision: Where will I stay in New York?

Airbnb is awesome (and here’s my affiliate link!) for staying affordably in Manhattan or Brooklyn. I’ve also met some amazing people on Couch Surfing, both as a surfer and host. It’s been a little while since I’ve checked out the site. As I read the profiles of Couch Surfing hosts, my heart starts to race. All of these interesting people. The idea of staying with a different person each day thrills me even more, although my mind flashes to the waste of using linens for only one night. (That’s kind of how my Stoic mind thinks.)

Airbnb would be simpler, a basic “visitor” relationship. Couch Surfing opens up all sorts of possibilities for synchronicity, especially as with the detailed profiles I can peruse for who is into innovation, travel, arts, and food.

But I don’t contact anyone just yet…which turns out to be a good thing.

“Well,” I wonder, “since it’s the off season and I’ll be on the East Coast, is a trip to Europe in order?”

The Travelzoo Top 20 email arrives. Doh. Dare I look? “$1399 — Greek Islands: Santorini & Mykonos 8-Nt. Trip w/Air” That is DAMN cheap.

Decisions leading to a Yes / No on Greece

• I’ve been wanting to go to Greece for years, especially after falling in love with Greek philosophy  as well as the mastic gum produced there.
• Life is short, and I haven’t taken a big trip in a long time.
• Er uh, and it departs right after the conference.
• My tourism can help the Greek economy.

I email a Greek friend to get his opinion on the itinerary. Then I remember a Greek cooking school I’ve been wanting to check out. Would a set tour not give me the flexibility I’d want? Something to consider before taking any plunge, especially on a juicy deal. For example, I could instead plan a trip to Southern Italy, another place that’s been on my mind, and combine a hop to Greece from there.

The itinerary is TBD but the possibilities entice.

Weighing goals, constraints and possibilities into trip planning leads to a richer experience with time and money most efficiently spent. Open your eyes and mind as you travel this Spring to new possibilities. Where will your whims take you?

Kickin it Euro style. Is it time to do so again? We shall see!

There I am painting a beautiful new wood door with the bright blue that seems to be my theme lately. I’m clad in an old sweatshirt, I’ve cleverly turned inside out so the paint gets on the inside instead of outside, so I can still wear the sweatshirt out with a semblance of neatness.

I’m leaning up against the door, seeing smears of blue on the sweatshirt, when it occurs to me: Why didn’t I wear one of the many aprons that have accumulated from all the cooking events I go to. A vision of a drawer stacked with aprons I somehow never remember to wear while cooking taunted me. There again I didn’t remember the aprons before painting.

When planning for any event in life, whether a big trip or painting a door, stepping through the motions is key to planning the most streamlined, error-free experience.

As I touched up the door to fill in some blanks, thinking of how I should have stepped forward through the painting job, a bunch of little dots jumped out at me. Oh, I forgot to dust the door which had been sitting out for a couple days after I primered it.

Another door opens…

If I were my painter friend, I’d sand it down and re-coat.

If I were me, I’d think: I’m adding another coat and that area is near the bottom of the door, which will be in a dark hallway. No one will notice and my priority is getting the job done. The next coat of paint will cover the little specks, for the most part.

And next time, I’ll project ahead and make sure I go through the steps rather than winging it. Winging it is sometimes good, but a little planning goes a long way. (The idiom here would be “Haste makes waste.”)

A good lesson remembered, and all before 9am.

Come see my door sometime and judge for yourself! Or see some really good blue doors.

Only moments earlier I’d been driving across the San Francisco Bay Bridge with some visitors, pointing out those very same container ships that transport cargo around the globe.

Put Yourself On the Line, Risking Rejection, Risking Being Perceived as Rude

Curiosity got the best of me. That’s not hard to do, since I believe and have experienced that talking to strangers leads to magic.

“I couldn’t help overhearing,” I said, explaining how I was just wondering what was in those containers.

Well it turned out this guy was setting up a new ceramics making facility. I asked, “For Heath Ceramics?” Yes. My enthusiasm delighted him no end, which delighted me.

We had some other major connections which slip my mind, a good reminder to write down magical synchronicity (aka coincidence) right when it happens. All I know is this delightful morning and connection will remain in my mind, giving me the warm fuzzies, every time I come to this cafe in San Francisco.

The next step: Intrigued? Sign up for the Dot Connectors email to get more tips about making such magic happen in your life. Or simply subscribe to this here blog’s updates as I’ll be posting when this  new project gets off the ground.

Yours caffeinated,

Susie

As a fallen member but with warm fuzzy feelings about the museum, the question helped me analyze what brings me to the museum and what makes it not be top of mind…or worthy of a membership. By the time I’d finished my essay about how I love the museum (which has the coolest interactive features, in depth California history exhibits and fun community engagement) and outlined my vision for an amazing future, I knew I need to support the museum to become even better.

I’ve heard advice that couples needing to rekindle their relationships should think back to what first attracted them to each other, to clear out those sticky cobwebs and complications that can develop over time and through life. Recently someone told me her friend called and said “I’m leaving Bob!” The friend said “Wait! Let me try talking to you.” In ONE session she saved the marriage. I’m not sure what she did. But if you are going through relationship issues and have a goal to do the right thing in 2013, look to these simple techniques to help you decide — and move on with your life, one way or another.

While renewing a membership is a whole lot easier than repairing a relationship, I now see how that question can quickly make a difference. Much like repairing a relationships, that first step can be the toughest: getting up to get my credit card to pay for my museum membership.

“My goal is to be one with the music. I just dedicate my whole life to this art.” – Jimi Hendrix”

“I’d wanted to be an actress my whole life, that was my goal, that was all I cared about.” -Kristin Davis (aka Sex in the City’s Charlotte )

“My goal was just to work regularly. I didn’t ever expect to be rich or famous. I wanted to be a working character actor.” -Harrison Ford

“Only because The Runaways were my baby and there’s no reason to get it back together except to totally have fun. If that’s not the goal, then I don’t want to do it. ” – Joan Jett

“Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.” -Scott Adams (Dilbert)

Take action! No matter how wild your goals, write them down on a life list, start to connect the dots, and watch the magic happen.

But say that day did come. Here’s my short list of how to prepare:

1. Tell your loved ones you love them just like you should all the time.
2. Do the little things that make you happy. Smell the flowers. Play with your dog.
3. Meditate on the life you’ve lived so well. Might as well try to make sense of it all!
4. Have sex. At the very least you’ll burn off a little steam. At the very most you’ll have a very nice steamy end to the world.
5. Know I’m thinking of you. You’re not alone…even if we’ve never met.

What not to do the day the world ends

1. Shop for new clothes. Your birthday suit is enough.
2. Watch the world end on TV. Life is not a spectator sport, and you never could have dreamed “being part of the world ending” as a life list item. So get out there and enjoy…whatever happens.
3. Try to do everything on your bucket list. (Focus on the things that will really make you happy.)
4. Over eat. Over drink. Really, you know you’ll have tomorrow to regret it.
5. Text while driving. Be careful — you don’t want to be the one ending your own world or someone else’s.

Enjoy!!!

From a SuperViva user: “I just saw your album “People doing life list things” and I love it! I use the website to track my list. Thank you for maintaining the site! Here’s a pic of me @ Mt Cadillac in Maine, working on my goal of visiting all 50 states! “

While he proposes setting “areas of focus,” what I really think he means is, don’t beat yourself up if you don’t achieve the goals you set out. Only about a decade ago did I start setting goals. My life wouldn’t be where it is without.

On a daily basis I write intentions for what I want to do and what I want the day to be like, including my mood. Often I jot down intentions for meetings or how I’d like to experience a party, to get me in a certain mindset.

I know many people for whom years pass while they say they have a goal, without an end date or plan to achieve the goal, who end up missing out on opportunities, lots of cash, and freeing up their lives for other pursuits.

Maybe it’s an A.D.D. thing but I like to have a goal to leave the house by 6:30am and a plan for how I’m going to do that. To do so might entail skipping food or taking a shower the night before. There’s nothing wrong with that, and I feel good for accomplishing my goal.

Some people can’t live without goals

I’m a relentless idea person. Ideas can drown me as can muti-tasking. Goals focus me. They help me prioritize what’s important. They help me get things done.

That isn’t to say 80% of my life isn’t open to adventure, synchronicity and unplanned opportunities. My life is all about those 3 magical things.

But goals cancel out the swirl. Goals stop me from doing things like writing a blog post in the middle of my work day (oops, I didn’t achieve my goal not to goof off — but I reprioritized and felt a goal to respond ot that article was more important than focus.)

Goals are good, as long as you know when they’re needed and when to break them. Most importantly, you can’t beat yourself up for not achieving them.

Without goals you might not live a life you’ll want to look back on!

*not actually ending per scientists and the government and everyone else.

The good news is gifts with meaning tend to be cheap, so take a look at some ideas of how you might make 2012′s holiday season memorable on a dime:

1. Give gratitude (free)

Expressing and feeling gratitude can lead to significant happiness. Write someone you really love and appreciate a little poem, a letter. Do something beyond the e-card, Facebook post, or phone call. Think about what they care about, maybe send them a little something and say “I was thinking of you.” It’s amazing what little words like that can do.

Think of all the therapy happiness saves … which you can spend on lavish gifts next year if your meaningful gift idea “backfires.”

2. Give a staycation “trip for two” on local transportation (cheap)

Is there a train or ferry in your area? In the San Francisco bay area some families go on trips from the BART subway to a train and around the bay, visiting multiple cities all by public transportation. Ironically that can get more expensive than driving, but you see world from a new perspective and probably stop places you wouldn’t otherwise. This photo was on the ferry from San Francisco to Oakland. On either Saturday or Sunday mornings you’d have a farmers market on either side of the bay.

Give a ferry ride or other local adventure

3. Give an interactive experience that keeps giving

Immersive play puts kids and adults into a state of flow which is why kids doing crafts get so happy! So many cool kits are out there. I gave my niece a sugar skull decorating kit for her birthday which she loved. Get some fabric paint, curtains or removable wall paper and let kids decorate their own rooms. Buy a food kit or put one together yourself.

If you’re looking for an excuse to cook I always loved the idea of a hot chocolate mix, you make in  bottle. (Of course in theory it’s a pain in the ass as you’d have to transfer the mix to something else to mix it up, but it sure looks good!)

4. Give a Moleskine Smart Notebook with Evernote

After we discover the world has, in fact, not ended, this notebook will be a fun way for your recipient to start journaling and maybe even sketching. I love this Moleskine as you can shoot a photo with the Evernote app and Evernote will digitize the text and of course save any drawings. It combines the best of paper journals with the assurance everything is backed up and findable.

Ce n’est pas le Moleskine. The Moleskines are that good old black covered notebook you love.

 5. Give it a rest! Or give him or her a rest.

Rather than give cash or gift cards, give a day pass where you’ll do whatever your friend or loved one wants, from chores to baby sitting to … well you can use your imagination. You’re giving the gift of happiness, peace, time, so your gift recipient can get out of the day to day and into a space where he or she can look at big picture goals for the new year. (Ironically searching for “give a favor” on Google only produces results related to buying favors.)

Make your friend’s favorite dinner

What I gave: a donation in honor of the recipient

I donated to Guidedogs for the Blind, in honor of the kids I was “giving” the gift to. They love animals and they love to help people. Plus they have had a few labrador retrievers. I somehow knew that while the thrill would wear off quickly, compared to a toy, this gift would feel good for everyone.